July 13 2020 01:12:43
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Whaikorero Bloopers
Kia ora whanau!

As the kaka wahanui I am going to blow the lid on whaikorero bloopers that I have seen and I hope others will share here what they have seen!

1. Papatuanuku te whaea, tena koe (says man pointing to the sky)

2. What was NOT said
Ka tangi te tiitii
Ka tangi te kaakaa

what was said

Ka tangi te titi
Ka tangi te kaka

(make sure you don't lengthen the vowels and then you will hear what it sounded like!)

3. Man speaking on the manuhiri side to the tangata whenua
E nga manuhiri, haere mai, haere mai, haere mai!

4. Man speaking to the whanau pani at a tangi
Ka nui te koa ki te tutaki i a koutou i roto i tenei wa tino pai!

5. During a powhiri when a man is giving his whaikorero another one of the speakers sitting down opposite the speaker turns and says to the one next to him in a VERY loud voice that everyone hears
When is he going to start?

6. Man speaking outside on a windy day, reading from a piece of paper
.... E nga manuhiri (gust of wind blows the paper out of his hands)
That's all folks

So what whaikorero bloopers have you seen? Grin
Edited by kakawahanui on 09-05-2012 19:05
Oh my goodness kakawahanui! Rolling on The Floor you had me in stitches of laughter with tears rolling down my face! Then I read your post to my son's - who are speakers - and they were in laughter too!

I really enjoyed your last one - I think it is meant to be number 6?

Anyway, here are some more - I will do them in your format as I like the way you have done them!

7. Man is speaking at a pohiri in the whare at a tangihanga
... No reira haere e nga mate (ring ring, ring ring, ring ring)
Kia ora! No I can't talk now I am speaking at a tangihanga .... yeah ok ..... um no ..... oh ok then, I'll meet you when I have finished .... Ae, ka kite (Hangs up)
Haere ki te wa kainga ....

8. Man speaking at a pohiri at a hui. He was half way through then paused for a long time, looked around, pulled out his cell phone, dialled a number then said:
Hey bro, what comes after ...... ( he got the answer, hung up and continued)

Would love to hear anymore from anyone Grin
Edited by poutokomanawa on 09-05-2012 19:03
Nau te raurau,
Naku te raurau,
Ka ora ai nga tangata!
Together we will get there!
ae you're right poutokomanawa so I have changed the last one to a 6 and bolded my numbers like you did for yours.

Your 2 examples had me Rolling on The Floor

I wonder how many we can get this count up to?

Come on whanau - surely we can get up to at least 20? Grin
Here are a couple more ....

9. Man speaking on the manuhiri side to the tangata whenua
E nga tangata whenua, haere mai, haere mai, haere mai!
Similar to number 3 but I saw this one today!

10 Man speaking in a powhiri. There were 6 speakers and he was the second one. He starts with:
Whakapaingia enei kai hei oranga mo o matou tinina ....

So, got any more whanau? Grin
Here is a shocker!

11. Group comes onto a marae at a tangi for a tane. Everyone is wondering who they are.

When it comes time for them to speak their speaker gets up and in the poroporoaki ki nga mate says:
E te kuia, takoto, takoto, takoto (Huh? thinks everyone)
Ko koe te whaea o te whanau (Huh? thinks everyone)

After all of the whaikorero they come around to hongi everyone. The speaker is first in their line.

When he gets to the tupapaku he says
Whose this????? Grin

Papatuanuku te whaea, tena koe (pointing upwards)
Te whare e tu nei, tena koe (pointing downwards)
13. Man stands to speak
Tena koutou katoa ......... um .......
Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa ........ um ......... um .......
No reira, tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa. Ka huri!

Got any more whanau? Grin
Well whanau, seems I am the only one that ever sees whaikorero bloopers! But here is another one I remembered

14. A man is speaking on the tangata whenua side and there is also a man in the manuhiri side that is translating to his moko. The translations are in ( )

Kei inoi tatou (he is acknowledging us)
E to matou matua e te rangi (he is talking to the whare)
kia tapu tou ingoa ( he is talking to the earth mother) ......

you get the picture - well, a bit later on:
E kui, kei te hiahia koe ki te tu ki te korero, e pai ana (he is asking me if I want to speak)

The man then translating says in a loud voice
Kao, it is all right I don't want to speak but thank you for asking! Rolling on The Floor

If you have any do share!
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